Don’t Fall For a Girl Online

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I just witnessed the best Twitter freakout ever… EVER! (Sidenote, this occured on August 2nd/3rd, but I decided to back post it to June 1 to bury it. Lol. It’s just better not being on the front page of my site. :)

Backstory: Zach (sadly we share the same name lol) fell for a girl online. The girl was never really into it from everything I saw. So like a good person back when I talked to this other Zach (about 6 months ago) I told him to move on. Told him that falling for a girl online is a lot like taking up smoking, you may enjoy it but it’s not doing anything good for you. He told me to fuck off and mind my own business. Cool. No problem, just letting you know dude.

So fast forward to present day… him, still in his fantasy world where a girl who lives in another country and he are together (at one point he implies they are married). But for whatever reason, he’s finally realized that “She’s just not that into him,” (was that movie any good?).

As a result we get the following… they were all in tweets, so I’ve cut them all together in one long post. Unless otherwise stated, the tweets are directed towards the girl he loves.

Enjoy.

August 2nd
Roughly 11AM
is it a crime to notice that you do it when you’re annoyed and then ask about it?
this convo is over. It’s ridiculous. I notice things. But apparently I notice them incorrectly. Can you forgive that?

Roughly 10PM
awesome! Me me me me me
I already volunteered for your last tweet that was sexual, but you snubbed me from that. Cani volunteer for this one?
yay! I’m in a porn situation with you……..?
thank god! Can we have the skype time you promised me hours ago?

Roughly 11PM
are you going to respond to my DM?
(General Tweet to all Followers) I am possibly logging off of twitter for the last time ever in 2 hours 15 minutes. Now’s your chance to stop me

August 3rd
Roughly 12AM (Word circulates that the Girl has fainted and injured herself. Her friend has her phone and is letting people know her status)
I have spent every minute of the last year of my life trying to care about her. She has showed me nothing and then made me feel like shit for questioning why she doesn’t care for me when her actions have shown that. Now that I finally stood on my own two feet to say that I will not put up with her actions saying she didn’t care about me while her words did, am I supposed to feel responsible for this? I hope not. I care about her tons. I’ve showed that through every one of my actions for the last year. I’ve changed every part of my schedule to include her wishes cuz she thought a bar was more important than spending promised time to me. Am I to feel bad? I don’t think so, at least not for my actions. Do I care about her health, yes. I wish her the best recovery and I wish to stay in the loop over it.

Along with what @Ryan has said, @Girl treated me like shit on her shoes for a year, when I questioned her about it, she made me feel Like killing myself. Now that I finally let it be known, she can’t handle the truth of her shitty actions and has had “an incident that is All @tatge6 fault” I don’t feel sorry at all for finally sticking up for myself, but I feel sorry that she is actually in the hospital.

OMG why do you lie? I gave EVERYTHING for her. I offered to move to Canada. I offered to quit my job if I couldn’t keep it while she took her opportunity. The only ppl that REALLY know her, don’t know her on twitter cuz they’ve actually seen her in person. She has been nothing but a huge disappointment to everyone she met through twitter EXCEPT for me, which she expressed was different, a person she would actually take the time to meet in person…but a year later, she still has failed to with EVERY single part of it being her fault. I offered tons of times to do all of the paging for flights, taking all of the time to travel, and she refused to pick me up from the airport when I landed. I TRULY wish I had never met her because I would not have wasted so much time caring so much for a person that refused so much to care back AND obviously because she would not be in the hospital right now.

@thekid416 no, I TOTALLY need to apologize AND quit twitter. Everything about it reminds me of @Girl I cannot continue with her sucking any more of mg life from me. So, I’m done with @Girl…I’m sorry you were ever involved.

(General Tweet to all Followers) I spent 11+ months of my life believing somebody who said “trust me” while they fell short the entire time. We even had fights over how a True friend doesn’t need to be told to care about you when they feel down. Now, my thoughts have been confirmed….

(General Tweet to all Followers, Minneapolis is 1 hour behind EST)11:11 I’ll finally relieve the wishes I have been having…along with my new one. (1) I’ve been wishing for @Girl to ACTUALLY care for me (2) now I wish to be able to open my eyes and notice if ppl actually care about me. With that said, @Girl you don’t need to block me anymore cuz my poor pathetic life is out of yours already. Congrats on being as good as You were at deceiving me, you’ll get REALLY far in the lawyer world with that. You DO know what’s best for your future…not a loving Husband that is willing to do anything for you, but learning how to deceive to be able to deceive the judge and get your client a win.

Now, interestingly he calms down to find out if the girl is okay, now that she’s tweeting again.

what happened?

um….well, you can start with why you had an MRI and what they’re going to do about it

please…… I actually am concerned about you whether it seems like it or not. I care about you. You know, why should I eclectic differently? I tried my hardest to conform to your ideals, I asked you to inform me of what youwanted, you refused to tell me, so why should I expect you to care about me caring about you when I’ve already given it a chance from my end AND the only thing I can control is how I act.

And then quickly loses it again.

yes, you don’t need to associate with someone who offered to change EVERYTHING about his life to fit to yours..including your “dad” happy about your decision even though that meant killing my happy future. You’re exactly right, I shouldn’t care personal future if it conflicts AT ALL with your future that you set up, I changed my life to, and you changed again..

fuck no! I am FIBALLY expressing myself to the point that makes you ACTUALLY realize how much you affected my life. MULTIPLE times that you were my everything. I expressed in the most expressible way you allowed (only skype, even though you had More love for your mom and actually used what a phone was meant for) than you showed towards me, that I would do anything for you Denied me. You denied anything and everything that affected me, THEN made me feel bad for everything else.

Roughly 1AM

awesome. I’m glad you apologized to me for the absolute piece of shit you treated like over the last year. I poured my heart out to you, you shit on it multiple times, I apologized for having feelings, and you STILL make me feel like shit. Fuck you for tearing my heart out and driving over it with your SUV (given to you cuz you don’t know how to work) for the last time. I guess I’m sorry Feeling like you shouldn’t drive over my heart which enduring me you care about me……

(General Tweet to all Followers) Fuck everybody! If you never hear from me again, you aren’t a good person….fuck off!!!!!!!!

IT WAS FUCKING GIVEN TO YOU!!!! I worked harder than anybody I ever met YET you got more money than me starting with the first job you were given you slut…with that, FUCK OFF. I FUCKING HATE YOU FKR MAKING ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF. I FUCKING WANT TO DIE FUCK EVERYBODY! YOU ARE ALL SMITTEN BY THE EMPTY FUCKING PROMISES OF THE SHE-DEVIL KNOWN AS @Girl. YOU ALL HAVE BEEN BETRAYED BY HER AT LEAST ONCE, BUT ARE WILLING TO GIVE HER A CHANCE AGAIN BECAUSE SHE LEADS YOU ON TO BELIEVE SHE’LL SUCK YOUR DICK. LEAVE IT THE FUCK ALONE YOU NEVER GET TO THE POINT OF CONSIDERING KILLING YOURSELF!

I admit at this point I was RTing some of the hilarity and my followers were talking to him telling him to calm down and relax.

@marcin FUCK YOU AND YOUR NEVER GETTING A COFFEE WITH @Girl PATHETIC LIFE!

@marcin FUCK OFF!!! she did EVERYTHING wrong you sorry pathetic miserable person who believes anything a hottie says. I was there once but I learned. Im sorry for not sharing everything with you. The entire time I was with a life sucking witch. I offered her EVERYTHING! I offered to change everything about my life, but since I still am not good enough cuz I won’t put up with her driving over my heart anymore, then I guess I’m the bad guy. I guess since I have feelings oft own, I “verbally abuse my wife” That she-bitch isn’t my wife.

@kitty FUCK YOU! I gave everything to my girl. I offered to change my whole future to fit hers. She shoved a flaming log up my ass.

@lynn yes, the don’ts are: don’t let a guy willing to change his whole life for you actually get close to you…cuz when you destroy his heart, he might have feelings.

And then he was gone. Closed up his Twitter account.

The moral of the story is… well let’s do it in a list cause he likes lists… 1) Don’t fall for a girl online. It’s pointless and 99/100 you’ll never meet them. And 2) Don’t blow up on Twitter. Simple. Keep your private life private if you can’t handle anything.

MTV will spin this into a TV show… you know they will.